I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
