didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
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I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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