i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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