Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
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I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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