508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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