Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
