Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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