I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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