Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
