you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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