just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
