so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
