so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
