Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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