Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
