is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
