Me too!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
