Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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