if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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