Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize