She said her name was "party"
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
