Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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