Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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