I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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