Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
