I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
