im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
