I hate your face
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
