I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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