Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
