so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
