we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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