I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
