They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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