I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
