so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
