So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Dignity is for republicans.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
