Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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