I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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