Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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