Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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