You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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