is wine microwaveable?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
