The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh god the rape fog is back!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
