They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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