exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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