Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
