paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
