remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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