ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
