My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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