I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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