it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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