Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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