Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
