were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
