She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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