I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
