A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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