i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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