Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
