Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
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Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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