i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
