mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
